A Hundred And One Apologies

RAMU RAMANATHAN

THERE’S A CURIOUS DISEASE in the air. All kinds of people are demanding apologies. At times, this is for the flimsiest of motives and from individuals innocent of personal culpability.

And so, to flashback to a curious sequence of events in Mumbai. Raj Thackeray demands an apology from the Hindiwallahs. Abu Azmi demands an apology from Raj. Kumar Ketkar and Loksatta demand an apology from both of them. Saamna demands an apology from all of them. Meanwhile Vinayak Methe demands an apology from Ketkar and Loksatta; and so he vandalises Ketkar’s home. The do-gooders demand an apology from the Home Minister. The NCP demands an apology from its member, Vinayak Methe. Meanwhile Narayan Rane demands an apology from the CM. The Shiv Sena continues to demand an apology from Rane (for deserting them); and so they lampoon him in Saamna. Rane flexes his muscles and demands an apology from Saamna, whose office is vandalised. This time, the do-gooders do not demand an apology from the Home Minister.

In the midst of all this, the CM is generally apologetic, but he never apologises or seeks apologies. Perhaps he agrees with PG Wodehouse, who said: “it is a good rule in life never to apologise. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”

If I were the CM, I would ask the following splendid folks to apologise: The Ambani brothers to apologise to each other, and above all to their fans. SRK to Bachchan to Khan who in turn will apologise to Rai, who will then apologise to Oberoi, and above all to their fans. Zidane to Materazzi who in turn will apologise to Zidane’s mother and sister. Osama to the Americans who will apologise to Musharraf who will apologise to the Taliban who will apologise to the Afghani people. And finally apologies to the fact that sensible politics in Maharashtra has become almost extinct.